Do you think there are too many details in this part of my novel? is when a group of street youth homeless are looking at a banquet being prepared, from a window.
Three kitchen staff in black uniforms went then execution trays filled with salad. On the other following behind a crystal punch bowl filled with ice and bottles of beer and wine. They disappeared behind a door, then reappeared minutes later and went into the kitchen. This time at least fifty people came out, carrying trays with small metal cans of kerosene below. It was impossible to see what was in the bins above. All children Pier Quickly crowded at the small window overlooking the ballroom.
Loyal and Baby Girl could not see inside, so in a thoughtful gesture 60Cent up both on his shoulders. They watched the staff organize the bins on tables draped in starched white tablecloths. There was so much food he could not stand on tables, trays so that many have had to be postponed. The covers were removed, and all children stared thrown out the window.
Saylor was already dying of hunger, and the sights and smells of food around him hurt. She pressed against the edge of the window, trying desperately to get a glimpse inside before she was shoved to the rear. She stood on tiptoes and grabbed the arm of 60Cent. Nothing less than the party was inside. There was pork tenderloin and rosemary-crusted shrimp, linguine with tomato sauce, sourdough bread, chicken, spinach risotto, polenta, mashed potatoes with chunks of melted butter, colorful vegetables, four kinds of grilled fish, fried clams and crab legs steamed. And there was so much of it! There was a table full right to serve oysters. Behind the tables, a leader ready to carve the cuts of juicy prime rib in a spotlight lamp. There were trays after trays of desserts novelty, placed gently on the silver plates chocolate tartlets topped with tiny fruit, cream puffs, eclairs, creme brulee, tiramisu, souffles, chips cheese and filled with hundreds of dishes Ice creams and sorbets. Two beautiful cakes of six levels, white frosted cream and decorated with vines and flowers blooming sweet, stood on the dessert table.
"Dang," Baby Girl breathing softly.
Some laughter rippled through the group, but nobody stirred. It is obvious that all thinking the same thing, standing motionless, forty-six eyes glued to the scene below in fear. Saylor's mouth watered. She could almost taste the ribs tender and crisp salad Prime and oh, cheesecake drizzled with raspberry and blackberry mousse and moist chocolate. She imagined the design of the first bite of cake to his mouth, letting the flavors mingle and melt blessed.
be quite honest, I did not have enough time to read it, but I can answer by saying that, write what is needed to explain the situation and help your story the best way possible. If you think it's too long, or missing something, then make adjustments ... as I do ... I may be a different style of writing, but I can put in place the advice I have
Posted on February 11, 2010.
